A SELF-EMPLOYED woman completing her tax return is eager to find out how this unimpeachable government will best use her hard-earned money.
Freelancer Helen Archer confidently logged her earnings over the year on HMRC secure that every penny she pays will go towards funding the NHS, helping the elderly and providing for her and her descendants in the future.
Helen explained: “Sure, the Johnson government spaffed £229 million on Lady Mone’s shite PPE, but they’re gone. So I’m not cynical about awarding them thousands of my pounds.
“Whether they’re spending it on cutting tax, needless Brexit costs or letting Liz Truss have a go at steering the country, they’re making wise decisions that benefit everyone except striking nurses and postmen.
“And if I’m paying this much, companies like Apple and Amazon must be paying billions. It makes it easy to fork over my meagre thousands knowing Jeff Bezos is stumping up his fair share. I bet he hasn’t got the heating on, either.
“I’m not the biggest fan of tax, but so long as we continue to get so much in return that it’s practically full-blown communism, I won’t complain.”