A MAN has squandered any chance of progressing at work by eating his packed lunch before midday.
Tom Booker had been a favourite for promotion after eight months of quietly efficient work at a small insurance company before he ate his chicken salad roll too early.
Line manager Nikki Hollis said: “As soon as that bap entered his mouth, he was done for.
“Three minutes before 12 is the morning. So technically that’s having a meat roll for breakfast which only someone on the fringes of society would do. He’s obviously thinking about his stomach more than he’s thinking about insurance.
“That level of impulsiveness suggests he is also a potential murderer.”
She added: “I even saw him putting crisps in the roll. Beef crisps.”
Hollis has since started considering the promotion potential of Booker’s colleague Wayne Hayes, who is systematically defrauding the firm but always lunches at the conventional time.