JOSE Mourinho has been reclassified as the Adequate One to reflect with his recent coaching CV.
Mourinho had been using the monicker ‘Special One’ since 2004, but a routine audit showed that the title may have lapsed.
Julian Cooke said: “When we asked to see the paperwork, Jose became quite frosty and started listing all the trophies he’d won.
“After a while he mumbled something about the Community Shield, which is clearly a fake competition.
“The only thing we could really see that was special was his ability to command a pay rise for each unsuccessful season.”
Mourinho will be re-classified as the ‘Adequate One’ but if his current form continues he could end the season being named ‘Coasting on Past Glories One’ or ‘David Moyes’.