You There! Rearrange My Caviar! Demands Jumped-Up Bookie

A JUMPED-UP bookie has threatened to boycott British Airways after a stewardess refused to rearrange his caviar into the shape of Charles Bronson in Death Wish II.

The jumped-up bookie was eventually forced to rearrange his own caviar

Chris Bell, a turf accountant from London, said he had been treated like a normal person after the 'simple request' during his first class trip from Barbados to Heathrow.

"The caviar was just dumped in the middle of the plate like it had been put there with a big spoon," he said.

"I politely asked the girl to take it back and rearrange it in the shape of Charles Bronson holding out his 44 Magnum and about to blow away the scum that killed his family.

"She said that would not be possible and then tried to throw my daughter out of the plane."

He added: "I realised I had no choice but to get out of my seat, position myself in the middle of the aisle, comb my hair, clear my throat, get out my megaphone and announce, 'DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?'"

A BA spokesman said: "We would have been happy to rearrange Mr Bell's starter into the shape of a tree, a frog or a kitten, as per our corporate policy.

"But our highly-trained staff simply do not have time to recreate scenes from Charles Bronson films – in caviar."

He added: "We're very sorry he has reacted in this way and will now be seeking our racing tips from the bloke that runs William Hill."