Colonel Kilgore ‘hurt by Clarkson snub’

A SENIOR US army officer has revealed he was hurt after Jeremy Clarkson pretended not to know him.

Clarkson thought this was Dustin Hoffman in ‘Tootsie’

Air cavalry commander, Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore, said he and Clarkson had met several times since 1979 and that the Top Gear presenter always seemed to enjoy his company.

Kilgore said: “I would tell him stories about my days in Vietnam. About how I used to play Wagner from the choppers as we attacked coastal villages. He asked me why and I said ‘because it scared the hell out of the slopes’.

“And then he asked what a ‘slope’ was and I said ‘it’s a racist term for an east Asian person’. And he though that was very funny.

“I’d explain that it wasn’t supposed to be and it was actually one of the ways in which we expressed our fear and hatred, but he just giggled.

“And then I would tell him to sniff some napalm every morning. And then I’d talk to him about surfing for six hours.”

Kilgore added: “Anyway, I bumped into him last week and he completely blanked me. It was as if we hadn’t met each other at least two or three times, particularly when he was a student.

“I was so disappointed, because I wanted to tell him that I had just got back from holiday in Vietnam and that not only do the Vietnamese surf, they’re actually very good at it.”


Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Things other than racism 'are not racism'

RACISM is different to other things that are not racism, it has been claimed.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Racism is believing a race to be inferior because of its perceived characteristics.

“It’s different to thinking that Kanye West is a twat, some council workers are incompetent or that some people are fat because they eat too many Hob Nobs.

“Not only is it not the same, it’s not even that similar.”

However internet forum addict Tom Booker said: “Saying things that aren’t racism aren’t racism is a form of racism.

“I am offended and that’s a big deal.”