Concern Grows As Spears Takes Three Attempts To Reverse Into Parking Space

FRIENDS of Britney Spears last night spoke of their growing concern for the pop princess after she took three attempts to reverse park her car.

The troubled singer called a halt to her first attempt after squashing an orange with her offside rear wheel.

In the subsequent confusion she got her angle wrong and bumped the tyres of her Mercedes SLK into the kerb, before edging forward too far and leaving the nose of the car jutting into the road.

Dr Phil McGraw, the television therapist, said: "She's hurt, she's confused, she's clearly psychotic: that orange could have been her baby."

Eyewitness Nikki Hollis, 26, said it was obvious from the tiny scratches on the rear bumper that this was not the first time the pop superstar had struggled with reverse parking.

She added: "She came to a halt next to the space she wanted to park in, put her car into reverse gear and then tried to drive it in backwards. It was just totally insane."

Tom Logan, 28, said: "I filmed the whole thing on my phone. After the third attempt she just got out and walked off as if nothing had happened. That is one sick lady."

This is not the first time Spears has been involved in a motor-related fracas. Last autumn she left the Ventura Freeway in Los Angeles at Junction 17 without indicating.

In 2006 she admitted turning on her windscreen wipers instead of her air conditioning. The police said it was a miracle no-one was killed.

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Wenger Refuses To Brand Referees A Bunch Of Man Utd Loving Bastards

ARSENAL manager Arsene Wenger last night refused to condemn referees as a collection of bastards who would do anything to help Manchester United win the league.

As his team's title hopes came to an end, Wenger remained tight-lipped on the penalty and free kick decisions made by a man who probably has Ronaldo posters on his wall and dreams of tender, post-coital snuggling with Ryan Giggs.

The Arsenal manager said: "I do not want to say anything about the way they cheat and what bastards they are.

"There is also no way I'm going to accuse them of giving away penalties like they were romantic gifts for their Old Trafford lover boys."

He added: "I would never claim that referees hold secret meetings to plot how they can thwart me, before praying to a giant, golden statue of that miserable, Glaswegian halfwit.

"Nor will I speculate that more than half of all premier league referees lie awake at night thinking about rubbing their excited hands all over Wayne Rooney's lightly oiled buttocks."

A spokesman for the Referee's Association said: "As Mr Wenger points out, all premier league referees are completely impartial and would never favour one team of towering, Cheshire-based superheroes over another consisting largely of sweaty, malodourous Frenchmen."

He added: "Do you ever just lose yourself in Rio Ferdinand's eyes?"