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Countdown In Crisis: Vorderman 90% Less Attractive, Says Channel 4

HUMAN calculator Carol Vorderman was asked to take a pay cut in direct proportion to her loss of attractiveness, it was claimed last night.

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Lawnmower Assassin Was Communist Loner, Says FBI

A MAN arrested by US police for the assassination of a lawnmower was a communist sympathiser who acted alone, the FBI said last night. 

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