RICHARD Dawkins is in hiding after discovering a Catholic plot to stockpile honey.
While having some honey confiscated at airport security, the academic noticed a group of nuns and priests speaking furtively into their sleeves.
Dawkins said: When the first plane hit the World Trade Centre in 2001 I looked down at my Gales on toast and muttered And so it begins. Now we are reaching endgame.
The Muslims are just patsies, pawns for the Vatican to distract the world from their true plan complete dominion over the world’s honey supply.
“Soon the bees will be extinct and this staple condiment will only be available to those who go to church and stay throughout the whole service.
And once they’ve got all the honey – marmalade, jam and even lemon curd will be next.
“And the only thing standing between us and a world of dry croissants is one Professor Richard Dawkins.
The god-dodging biologist has spent the last twelve years solving a series of cryptic puzzles based on passages of the bible that refer to bees, and hieroglyphs found on the side of apiaries.
Dawkins said: I have evidence of orgies in Rome with bishops and the Pope gorging themselves on stolen condiments which I will discuss in my next book Atheists Wouldnt Ask You To Take Your Fucking Shoes Off In An Airport.”