Grown man dressing like Prince George

A 34-YEAR-OLD man is wearing the same outfits as three-year-old Prince George of Cambridge, his shocked colleagues have reported.

Joseph Turner, a senior compliance manager at a Birmingham bank, first attended the office wearing red velvet shorts, a navy cardigan with mother-of-pearl buttons, knee-high socks and black shoes with buckles on Monday.

Turner said: “What? The girls all dress like Kate.

“I was looking for a style icon and I needed one without a beard or tattoos, when suddenly it occurred to me how crazy all the ladies are for the little fucker.

“My wardrobe’s full of frilly shirts, knitted tank tops with train designs, Breton sweaters and quilted coats with tartan linings, and believe me the chicks have noticed.

“Oh man I am going to get so much action.”

Colleague Carolyn Ryan said: “It’s sick, it’s wrong, he looks like a Victorian alpine climber who had his genitals removed so they didn’t interfere with the purity of his sport.

“But the magazines say he’s just the best thing ever so I suppose I’ll have to sleep with him.”

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Women ‘may understand concept of models’

WOMEN do not need to be constantly reminded that ‘real women’ exist who are not fashion models, it has emerged.

After Vogue devoted an edition to ‘real women’, the Institute for Studies found most women were not particularly confused by the idea of tall, attractive ones showing off clothes.

Woman Nikki Hollis said: “I’m not bothered about seeing ‘real women’ because my self-esteem isn’t so pathetically low I get an ego boost from being reminded I’m average.

“The fashion industry has some stupid ideas about attractiveness, but bear in mind these are people who think your life is over if you wear the wrong-coloured trousers in autumn.

“Also I don’t need some advert for soap telling me I am allowed to exist. And a burger is not a massive, naughty treat unless your life is extremely dull.”