Tuesday, 11th May 2021

Henry Hoover voted Remain

HENRY Hoover is a proud Remainer who will fight for a second vote for the people of Britain, manufacturers have confirmed. 

The cheerful vacuum cleaner, an avid follower of UK politics, cast his vote for Remain in 2016 and has battled media disinformation and Brexiter lies ever since to save the country from economic ruin. 

A spokesman for manufacturer Nuismatic said: “Henry won’t have the wool pulled over his eyes. He knows what’s up. 

“A life dedicated to clearing up the messes left behind by the careless and clumsy – usually Tories, let’s face it – meant he identified Brexit for the clusterfuck it was straight away. 

“He’s not some posh bagless only used to picking up Pomeranian hair. Henry does hard service with the cleaners of Britain and, with inexorable logic and his smiley face, he’s convinced them we need another vote. 

“You might have seen him on the march, leading Hetty, James, little Henry, George and Charles. They won’t abandon you. Not like a stuck-up Dyson.”