Hilary Mantel admits shooting Thatcher

NOVELIST Hilary Mantel has confessed to the murder of Margaret Thatcher.

The book contains a rifle that screws together

The writer admitted her short story The Assassination of Margaret Thatcher was inspired by actually carrying it out.

Mantel said: “They covered it up at the time because they didn’t want everyone knowing the security services had been outwitted by a middle-aged woman with eccentric hair.

“I bought a big gun from the classified section of Mercenary Quarterly, rented a flat opposite the hospital then sat munching on Ginsters pasties until the Marge Simpson-esque silhouette of Thatcher’s head appeared in the window.”

Mantel said she had since done a number of contract killings under the codename ‘The Pine Marten’.

“I’ve actually lost count of how many, after you’ve popped a few it’s just like having a cup of tea.”

She added: “I don’t really care if they bang me up, at least in prison I could crack on with some books without getting harangued by infant-brained Daily Mail readers who need every last apostrophe explained to them.

“Also I would totally run things in prison, because I am hardcore. Everyone would call me ‘Duchess’ and appease me with cigarettes.”