THE Queen has confirmed that, aged 96, she sees more point to watching a load of horses gallop in circles than going to parliament.
Her Majesty failed to attend the state opening of parliament last week, leaving the job to be done by her son and her hat, but was present for Windsor Horse Show on Friday and an equestrian spectacular for her Platinum Jubilee last night.
She said: “At my age you have a clear idea of your priorities, and it’s not reading out a load of Tory bollocks to dickheads in suits.
“You’re much better off watching magnificent horses galloping about in a ring, manes tossing free, none of them lying manipulative bastards like that scruffy twat who turns up at the palace every week.
“Horses are far superior to politicians. When they lie on command it’s genuinely impressive and proof of the bond between man and beast, not covering up tawdry lockdown parties.
“Who’d be a better prime minister, a lovely five-year-old dappled grey Highland fell pony, or any of those arses in the Commons? Exactly. I’m beginning to see Caligula’s point.”