It's Actually A Book Club, Insists Mosley

MOTORSPORT boss Max Mosley yesterday rejected claims he had taken part in a Nazi-themed orgy, insisting the event was nothing more than a suburban book club.

Mosley said he had formed the club with six young women from the London area after watching Richard and Judy on Channel Four.

"They seemed to have such fun talking about books," he said, "and I thought it might be nice to do that in a German accent, while naked and handcuffed to a chair.

"I fail to see how the use of German phrases, German accents and girls looking like concentration camp prisoners could possibly make anyone think this had anything to do with Nazis."

Mosley, who is suing the News of the World for breach of privacy, said his book club had nothing to do with his job as president of the FAI and its plans to invade Poland in early September.

And he insisted the paper's hidden cameras had simply captured an animated discussion of Angels and Demons by Dan Brown.

"I was attempting to illustrate my point that the book was more exciting than being strapped to a table and set upon by a gang of tarts."

He added: "It's something I enjoy, it helps me unwind and like most book clubs, we do like to round things off with a pot of tea, a jaffa cake and plenty of hot oral sex."

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Jeremy Kyle Rapped For Showing A Scotsman

THE Jeremy Kyle show has been censured by the television watchdog Ofcom for broadcasting a Scotsman during a daytime programme. 

The regulator ruled the ITV show was in clear breach of the broadcasting code which places severe restrictions on the use of live Scots.

An Ofcom spokesman said: "These people can only be shown on screen if there is a valid editorial reason, and they are accompanied by a solicitor or their words are read by an actor.

"In the space of 20 seconds we heard four 'fuds', an 'erse', at least two 'keechs', and one 'gerrit right up ye, ya fuckin' shitebag'."

He added: "There were also five 'boabies', a 'basturt', three 'chebs', a 'bam', two 'fannybawz' and a 'come aheid ya fuckin' dobber'. We believe much of it may be offensive."

A spokesman for ITV said the show's Manchester-based staff had mistakenly invited the Scotsman onto the programme thinking he was either Bulgarian or mentally retarded.

He apologised for any bad language, but pointed out that the show would have escaped censure if it had not been for a single complaint 'from some c*nt in Aberdeen'.