JAMIE Oliver has wearily dumped yet another book of recipes, photographs and shit onto the market.
The celebrity chef, who has been stuck in this fucking rut longer than he can remember, tiredly admitted the new book is the same old bollocks with a different cover on the front.
He continued: “I was going to skip this year because I just cannot stand it anymore.
“But then the publisher says he’s got the presses ready, and I say ‘surely I’ve done everything,’ and he’s like ‘Tesco have bulk-ordered 30,000’ and I’m like ‘well whatever’ so, once again, I’ve crapped something out.
“Near 20 years these have been coming out now. Remember when I was the Naked Chef? A lifetime ago.
“Anyway, new fucking book, buy it or don’t. You’ll never make anything in it anyway.”
Jamie Oliver’s 7 Ways: Easy Ideas for Every Day of the Week is out now from Michael Joseph, priced at £26.