Kevin Bacon not sure if everyone laughing with him or at him

ACTOR Kevin Bacon is unsure if he is seen as a cultural icon or a bit of a dick.

He said: “When I heard about the ‘six degrees of Bacon’ thing I thought it was pretty funny, and also it reinforced the idea of me being a well-connected person and a diverse performer.

“But then I thought, is it because my name is Kevin Bacon? I mean nobody talks about ‘six degrees of Connery’ or says shit about Kevin Spacey.

“My agent says it’s fine but he also advised me to do these mobile phone adverts, which I later found out he told Julia Roberts not to touch with a barge pole.”

Bacon’s agent Tom Booker said: “Sometimes Kevin worries about the irony thing, but then I open a suitcase to show him the latest shitload of advert cash.

“Also he was good in Tremors and quite creepy in Hollow Man, nothing could destroy a legacy like that.”

Bacon added: “When I walk down the street kids are like ‘hey, Kevin Bacon!’ and I high-five them. But then sometimes I think I hear them sniggering behind my back.

“Maybe I should be more like ‘it’s Mr Bacon to you little fuckers’, but I don’t want to seem unfriendly.”

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Guitar in flat for decorative purposes only

AN acoustic guitar in the corner of a living room has never been played and is irrevocably out of tune, it has been revealed.

While Tom Logan’s guitar has remained in a prominent position in the house for six years, a telltale coating of dust betrays a complete lack of use.

Friend Stephen Malley said: “It’s always in exactly the same place, propped up casually as if Tom’s only just put it down after a jam session.

“But I’ve never seen Tom show any inclination to play it and the other day I idly strummed it and it sounded like a tiny cow that had fallen into a well.

“I asked him if he had a plectrum and he looked offended, as if I’d said something sexually inappropriate. I am 100 percent convinced he has no idea what a plectrum is.”

But Logan insisted the guitar is a prized possession, which he greatly enjoys not playing.

He added: “It’s very important to me that I have a guitar.
 It’s as precious to me as those framed posters for plays I’ve never seen.”