Letting Prince Andrew do something turns out to be bad idea

GIVING Prince Andrew a high-profile public role has somehow failed to be a success, it has emerged.

Officials have admitted that appointing the Prince as the UK’s trade envoy has led to the country being humiliated on the international stage thanks to an ever-lengthening list of hideously embarrassing circumstances.

But they have insisted the decision to appoint the Prince was made in good faith as at that point there was only a 90% chance he would become mixed-up with gangsters and sleazy, billionaire sex offenders.

A Foreign Office source said: “It’s very sad because when he was offered it we all thought he must be the right man for the job.

“He was after all a leading a member of the Royal Family while the only thing counting against him was a well-documented penchant for free-loading oafishness and a catastrophic lack of judgement.

“It’s just so difficult to pinpoint where it went wrong.”



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Worker unveils 'epic' skive

AN office worker has unveiled plans for a ground breaking skive while her boss is away this week.

Nikki Hollis, from Peterborough, arrived at work at 10.15am, made some toast, opened the internet and began looking at websites about famous horses.

Tomorrow she will bring in headphones and pretend to transcribe interviews for eight hours while getting paid to watch Better Call Saul on Netflix.

Wednesday and Thursday will see her explore other critically acclaimed US TV series as well as ‘being called away to an emergency’. On Friday she is going to Alton Towers.

Hollis said: “Apart from that, my main focus will be remembering to send a flurry of emails to my boss at 5pm on Friday so it looks like I’ve been doing something.”

She added: “It’s not that my boss is a terrible person or the job is a bad one, I’m just very committed to doing nothing.”