Moir Condemns Ronan Keating's Sordid Heterosexual Lifestyle

DAILY Mail columnist Jan Moir was facing calls to to resign last night after attacking Boyzone singer Ronan Keating’s ‘sleazy’ heterosexual lifestyle.

Keating is currently under intense scrutiny in the mainstream gay tabloid press after admitting to not only having a female partner but also having full penetrative intercourse with at least two vaginas.

In an article entitled, ‘The Sordid World of the Male Fanny Jabbers’, fundamentalist lesbian Moir attacked the sensitive Irish pop star for undermining traditional homosexual values.

She wrote: “Most of us are quite content with our staid and suburban subcultures – whether it be diesel dykes or leather daddies – while young, carefree celebrities galavant from one vagina to the next, seemingly oblivious to the norms of an otherwise tolerant gay society.

“Stars like Keating openly revel in the perverse delights of female genitalia, slaves to the twisted desire to jab their bits into a woman like they were completing some horrific jigsaw puzzle made of meat.

“It is believed Keating cheated on his so-called ‘wife’ with a scantily-clad female dancer – the type of woman commonly known in the straight scene as a ‘slag’, a ‘tart’ or a ‘filthy ricker’.

“In the perverse patois of this grubby, twilight world some are even known as ‘bikes’ because they like to be ‘ridden’.

“These bicycles then disport themselves in heterosexual bars with names like ‘All Bar One’ and ‘Wetherspoons’, where they can be bought for the price of something called a ‘Southern Comfort and lemonade’.”

She added: “I’m not saying that being straight is wrong, but it obviously is.”

Heterosexual rights campaigner Tom Logan said: “It’s depressingly predictable for the gay majority to depict straight men as drunken predators lurching from one depressing bar to another in search of soulless, opportunistic sex with as many partners as possible.

“Even if that is pretty much what we’re like.”

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