ANGELINA Jolie and Brad Pitt have confirmed their entry into the sexless world of marriage.
The couple confirmed that their six children, punishing work schedules and increasing resemblance to their own parents mean that boning is off and marriage is on.
Pitt said: “We’re both super hot so all the shagging has been great.
“Frankly though I’m drained to the core and it was time to do the time-honoured ritual that restricts intercourse to holidays and the odd Friday night if we’re both still awake after Graham Norton.
“Our relationship is now as unexciting as those of our fans. Admittedly it’s unexciting in a labyrinthine chateau in Provence, but the principle is the same.”
In a further gesture of solidarity with the masses, the actors have adopted the vaguely aspirational surname Pitt-Jolie, even though it sounds stupid.