ARSENE Wenger has reluctantly re-introduced calcium to his team’s diet after Olivier Giroud broke a tibia.
Wenger banned calcium in 2006, forbidding Arsenal players from eating dairy products, broccoli, nuts or sardines in the belief that brittle bones make for lighter, faster players.
However, following the Giroud injury and an outbreak of rickets in the youth team, the manager is reconsidering the diet of chips, pizza, and blue pop introduced because kids eat all that and they move like greased lightning.
Club nutritionist Norman Steele said: “We’re still trying to convince him that black, bleeding gums aren’t a sign of brushing teeth too enthusiastically but of scurvy.
“And while hair loss is normal in men, I’m sure Jack Wilshere’s shouldn’t be falling out in handfuls at the age of 22.
“Even if it does give him gravitas.”