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Pretend Marriage On Made-Up Rocks

THE pretend marriage of Jordan, the pretend novelist, and Peter André, the pretend human, was last night on the completely made-up rocks.

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Top Tory Claims For Drawbridge Wax

THE Tories last night proved they have still got it after it was revealed that a senior MP claimed more than £2000 for drawbridge wax and moat freshener.

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