Prince Andrew fears new series of The Crown will destroy his reputation

Prince Andrew is reportedly concerned that the new series of The Crown will besmirch his squeaky-clean reputation.

Those close to the Duke of York say he is worried that embarrassing aspects of his intensely private personal life will be thrust into the spotlight by the Netflix hit.

A source said: “All Andy really likes to do in his down time is relax with a pizza and some dough balls and stay out of trouble.

“However, he’s anxious that the series might have turned up some past dirt on him, like the fact that he once dated Koo Stark who was in a soft-core porn film. That’s pretty serious stuff.

“Or they might make a thing about him being a general gadabout and wastrel who spends lots of money. He just doesn’t want people to think badly of him.

“Having always been so well loved and respected by the British public, this level of scrutiny will be stressful for him. He might even spontaneously start sweating again.

“It’s a shame, because usually when he gets involved with something American everything turns out so well for him.”

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Why people are really liking your social media posts

WE all get a buzz when our social media posts get a lot of likes. But don’t get too excited – here are the real reasons people have ‘liked’ your online ramblings.   

The trying to look clever like

Have you posted an article from New Scientist? Chances are half the likes are from people who have no intention of reading a heavy-going article about DNA science but just want to look well clever.   

The trying to look as if you give a shit like

Have you posted about racism, poverty or a local charity appealing for help? Sorry, but most of those likes are from people trying to look like they definitely do more to help than sit on their arses pressing a thumbs up button.  

The passive aggressive like  

Have you just ‘checked in’ to a bar? Most of the likes you got for that post will be from people you didn’t invite subtly reminding you what a bastard you are.   

The tactical like

Everyone knows that if you like enough people’s posts, they are bound to return the favour. This may be why you got 65 likes for that really obvious post about the American election. 

The sheep like

You may have got a couple of actual likes but anything after that is just people following the herd. Liking it simply not to feel left out is a bit pathetic, but then so is spending your life making unremarkable comments on social media.     

The robot like

Whatever you post online, the majority of likes are from people aimlessly scrolling social media like dead-eyed androids. An hour later they’ll have no memory of ‘liking’ that photo of your cat in the laundry basket.