PRINCE William has admitted wearing a polo shirt to his Earthshot awards to cover up his six new ill-advised neck tattoos.
The Duke of Cambridge, who a sycopantic media compared to James Bond even though he looked a dick, confessed he only put on the unfashionable item to cover his ink.
He said: “Harry was taunting me by text listing all the things he can do – star in movies, live in California, have affairs with non-horsey girls – and it was pissing me off.
“One of the things was tattoos, and he’s wrong about that because great-grandad had them and he was King so I thought ‘f**k you’, drank some cognac and got myself a neckful.
“I’ve got the kids’ names obviously, and there’s three of them so that takes some room, then I thought I’d better get granny on there in case she kicks off, so the artist copied that off money.
“Then for the other side I went for something more personal, so I got the Linkin Park logo and that famous bum shot of Gail Porter. It’s a fantastic likeness but apparently I should have run it past the wife first.
“I look great, like a Love Island contestant, but Kate made me put on the old Steve Jobs. Weird. She was fine with the Prince Albert.”