Queen intensely interested in Game of Thrones sex scenes

THE Queen’s visit to the Game of Thrones set in Belfast was dominated by detailed questions about the show’s sexual content.

After meeting the producers of the fantasy drama, the Queen immediately asked how many people are in the room when the sex is filmed and ‘how much of it is acting?’.

The Queen also asked if the actors wear underpants ‘if they are only being filmed from the waist up and there is no need to show their buttocks’.

A Buckingham Palace spokesman said: “Her Majesty is an avid Game of Thrones fan as it combines two of her favourite things – dragons and unbridled passion.

“She does tend to skip over the more gruesome violence, but when a good sex scene comes on you have to keep your mouth shut or she can get quite angry.”


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Gerrard to consider his frowning future

STEVEN Gerrard is to make a decision on whether he wants to continue looking dejected.

He said: “I don’t want to let my country down but this constant expression of consternation is giving me a forehead like a corrugated bacon joint.”

“The younger lads are more than capable of standing in the centre circle with their hands on their hips looking sad, while a drunken mob boos them for being as inadequate as they’d always suspected.

“For now I just want to spend a little time with my family, maybe forgetting a birthday so I can do a crestfallen face at home without the pressure of projecting despondency at a global level.”

Roy Hodgson has urged the skipper to stay on as captain as he feels he still has a lot to offer in terms of looking like he’s just been caught wanking in Boots.