Queen reflects that it’s a good thing she doesn’t give a shit

THE Queen has reflected that, considering all the constitutional powers she has, it is a good thing she could not care less about Britain anymore. 

Her Majesty, who is due to accept David Cameron’s resignation tomorrow, could in theory refuse to appoint a new prime minister but is 90 years old and cannot be bothered.

She said: “A 60-year-old would probably take an active role. A 30-year-old definitely would.

“Sometimes, when I drift off in my chair, I imagine myself possessed with the righteous fury of a new grandmother, thundering ‘I do not give my assent!’ at some idiot or other.

“But there’s something about having a bald grandson that stops you caring about anything but where the next plate of biscuits is coming from.

“Dark chocolate gingers, those are the ones I like, with a cup of Darjeeling. If anything happened to those I’d sit up. That’d have me dissolving Parliament.

“Otherwise I let well alone. Well, they don’t need me interfering. I’m sure they know what they’re doing.”