THE theme of the Queen’s Christmas message is how much mental shit has happened lately, it has been revealed.
A leaked copy of the annual address revealed the Queen’s shock at the death of David Bowie, and how that turned out to be not even the maddest thing by a long chalk.
The speech begins: “Unlike Keith Richards who looks like the withered scrotum of a long-dead elephant, I always thought Bowie looked great for his age.
“And Leonard Cohen. He was old like, but you don’t expect it, do you? Also Stone Temple Pilots front man Scott Weiland, he died.
“Then you’ve got Brexit, and Trump. If this keeps up it’ll be fucking aliens landing next year.”
A palace source said: “She was going to mention the death of Prince, but she thought Prince Philip might overhear and think it was him who’d died.”