FORMER Premier League players have joined forces to fight crime in exotic locations.
Paul Scholes, Jamie Carragher and Michael Owen, headed by their craggy-faced boss who only appears to them on a closed-circuit TV monitor, use their skills of logical deduction and kicking to solve high-profile cases.
Carragher said: Its early days yet but I’ve noticed my role involves a lot of tea-making and nipping to the offie for the boss, while the other lads drive around in fast cars wearing fancy outfits.
Hes promised me its not a United/Liverpool thing but their agent names are Red Fox and Silver Shadow and mine is Gobshite.
Their first case involved diamond thieves prowling diplomats’ receptions, which Owen attended in a tuxedo talking about his goal against Argentina while Scholes ran around kicking anyone who looked suspicious.
Carragher, meanwhile, sat in the van to keep an eye on it.
The culprit was revealed to be David Beckham, whose entire career has actually been a cover to travel around the globe lifting jewels to support his wifes voracious shoe habit.
‘Fergies Angels’ merchandise has been produced to finance the operation but manufacturers are struggling with a voice for the Carragher doll that doesnt upset nearby dogs or set off burglar alarms.
Carragher added: After a successful mission, the lads sit around on the verandah laughing and sipping champagne while the boss calls on the intercom to call me a useless bag of dick.