ALL the celebrities who once tweeted ‘we’re in this together’ are sunning themselves in Mexico and Dubai like the wankers they are, it has emerged.
As Britain entered a total lockdown expected to last months, reality stars and lightly-injured footballers were beginning 2021 by spunking champagne all over each other in pleasant, Covid-free locations.
Model and influencer Lauren Hewitt said: “I’m social distancing on a yacht in the Caribbean, but showing my lockdown solidarity by posting regular bikini pictures.
“Britain can be reassured I’m far away from any risk, and I’m providing a vital public service by flaunting my curves for the sidebar of Mail Online.”
Billionaire Roy Hobbs said: “The lockdown came earlier than expected – I’d told Boris Thursday – but I’ve done my vital work guiding Britain to a crap-deal Brexit and now I’m celebrating in tax-free Monaco as I deserve.”
Stephen Malley of Doncaster said: “Yeah, I remember when all I had to be pissed off about was the celebrities’ massive kitchens as they sang shit songs for The One Show.
“Thanks a lot, this is far worse.”