Samantha Cameron named best-dressed woman by women who dress like that

SAMANTHA Cameron has been placed at the top of Vanity Fair’s Best-Dressed list by women uncomfortable in everything.

The prime minister’s wife beat Taylor Swift to the top spot because the American singer is occasionally able to wear clothes without looking like she regretted her choice the minute she was in the taxi.

Judge Susan Traherne said: “Whether she’s exquisitely awkward in a cocktail dress, wishing the ground would open up in peplum top and cigarette trousers, or standing behind a pillar all night in a pleated pastel dress, Samantha Cameron represents every woman who has no idea what to do with her arms.

“There isn’t a look in the fashion world that Sam doesn’t seem like she was tricked into wearing by flattery in the shop and now immediately regrets.”

Accepting the award wearing a floor-length lace evening gown that did not suit her, Cameron said: “Oh God, I didn’t think I’d have to stand up on stage in front of all these people. I’ve got a pashmina that covers a lot of it up but I’ve left it in the car.

“Sorry everyone. Sorry.”

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People who live in Harrogate very easily pleased, say experts

EXPERTS have dismissed a survey naming Harrogate as the happiest town in Britain.

They have suggested that those who took part in the survey had either set the happiness bar very low or were of unsound mind.

Norman Steele, a leading critic of the survey, said: “Imagine a town built entirely of papier mache made from pulped copies of the Daily Mail.

“It is the sort of place where people visit WH Smiths at the weekend because there’s nothing better to do once they’ve dusted their Charles and Diana wedding mugs.”

He added: “I went to a pub and asked for vodka and orange. They served it with orange squash.

“I asked for a cheese sandwich. How can you go wrong with a cheese sandwich? I had to send it back three times.”

Steele said: “Dagenham came bottom of the list. But in Dagenham you can bask in a warm sense of achievement if you get through the day without being chased by a gang of children.”