HARRY and Meghan have announced the birth of their second child, Lilibet Diana. Here are seven reactions to have:
Calling children by nicknames is chavvy
The accepted way to do it is to give the kid the full, ridiculous name then only ever call it by the nickname. Putting the actual nickname on the birth certificate? Not classy. Calling it by a nickname then announcing it will be known by a nickname derived from that nickname? So chavvy it’s posh?
It’s kind of a stripper name
Not the traditional Harmony, Destiny or Chrystalle perhaps, but it wouldn’t be a surprise to see a dancer named Lily-Beth or Lilibet, probably wearing Daisy Dukes, down your town’s lap-dancing venue. Presumably Harry knew this only too well but couldn’t share.
It’ll get the crap kicked out of it in the playground
Unusual names are a real shortcut to getting bullied at school, saving both pupils and teacher valuable time. But as the baby has ginger genes anyway, the name actually serves to protect from its true shame.
Isn’t everybody’s baby called Lily?
Lily has been in the top ten baby names for the last decade, so not only everybody’s baby but children all the way up to ten. Lilibet will probably be one of four Lilys in her class at school so teachers will call her ‘Lili with the seven-figure Netflix wellness deal’.
It’s the most blatantly jump-to-the-top-of-the-will name ever given
Naming a child after a great-grandparent? Obvious. Naming a child after a great-ggrandparent’s childhood nickname? Such a flagrant suck-up that it can’t fail to work. Expect to see the Royal titles restored by Thursday.
It sounds like an internet betting company
Not the baby’s fault so much as Far East gambling giants sticking ‘bet’ on the end of any random collection of letters and plastering it on Bradford’s shirts, but you definitely expect Lilibet to offer you a free £10 stake for every £30 gambled.
It’s still better than Eugenie