Six other things Holly Willoughby should apologise for while she's at it

IF Holly Willoughby is issuing heartfelt apologies for stuff she apparently knew nothing about, perhaps she should say sorry for these too: 


If you’re apologising for events you were not involved in and had no knowledge of, start big. Forget your co-star’s infidelity and get right in there with apologies for the slave trade, the Armenian genocide, everything under the Nazi umbrella and the Vietnam war. Or, by not apologising, is Holly saying she’s not sorry?


And, once she’s made amends for ethnic slaughter, Willoughby needs to consider its causes. We need her on that sofa giving a full apology for racism, colonialism, homophobia, transphobia and misogyny. Not just empty words either. She needs to tell us what she’s going to do to fix it.


Have you ever heard Willoughby say a single world about the September 11 terrorist accounts? So much as breathe a ‘good riddance’ when Bin Laden was killed? Surely she wasn’t on her couch cheering when it happened? If she really had nothing to do with it, why hasn’t she said anything?


A whole generation that wanted Transformers were given GoBots, their cheaper, shitter equivalent, and remains scarred. Holly had nothing to do with it and is no doubt ignorant so by her logic she’s in the frame for an apology. And compensation, and a buyback scheme.

The School For Stars series of children’s books

Supposedly written by Holly and her sister Kelly, it’s reasonable to assume that This Morning’s now lone anchor had nothing to do with them and barely even knew about them. And given they’re a shite hybrid of boarding school and Fame that celebrates friendship, an apology seems well overdue.

F**king over a close friend for the sake of your career

Credit to her, Holly appeared to have no idea she’d done this. Thoroughly convinced that she was the real victim of events, the presenter was oblivious to the fact that a close friend had lost everything and was at the lowest point of his life. Sorry!

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He's got a bloody nerve, says nation with no idea what Harry is up to

PRINCE Harry has been strongly condemned for the actions he is taking in this court case which is about whatever it is about. 

Britons who have vaguely seen a headline or overheard an outraged conversation are away that the Duke of Sussex is once again in the UK, and have responded with eyerolls, tutting and unfocused disapproval.

Punter Martin Bishop said: “It’s just classic Prince Harry. Over here, hogging the headlines, doing something or other in court about forcing Special Branch to tap his voicemail or I don’t know what.

“His horrible wife will be behind it, as usual. Masterminding this whole attempt to besmirch the monarchy and, you know, ruin Britain like she wants to. I’ve no idea of her reasons and I don’t want to.

“What I take issue with is that it’s shoved down our throats. He can’t just mind his own business, he has to be on the front page of every paper, and he’s meant to not want to be in them while he’s getting them all riled up.”

“If he’s going to do something it should be meaningful, like trying to hold the press to account. But he’s too busy being a so-called celebrity.”