Wednesday, 12th May 2021

Strictly to ditch the dancing and focus on the homewrecking

THE new series of Strictly Come Dancing will cut the ballroom dancing and concentrate on the contestants’ journey from happily married to adultery.

Producers have decided that 16 series of celebrities getting incrementally better at dancing are enough, while interest in whether a dancer can break a relationship in ten weeks remains sky-high.

Producer Denys Finch Hatton said: “See one American Smooth, you’ve seen them all. But the first accidental brush of a satin-clad buttock with an open palm that leads to adultery? TV gold.

“We’ll still be doing the dancing, but we’ll only show sexy montage close-ups and focus on flirtatious conversations, knowing silences and long Skype calls with partners assuring them nothing’s wrong.

“The judges will emain an integral part of the competition, but rather than scoring the dancing they’ll score the sweaty cheating sex. Just wait for what Bruno Tonoli says about David James’s ‘clumsy and insincere’ foreplay.”

Strictly professional Tom Logan said: “I’m going all out to win this year and I’m not going to let Anneka Rice’s husband stand in my way. Cha-cha-cha.”