The doctors say you staying with Meghan could kill him, explains William

A GRAVE-FACED Prince of Wales has informed his brother that medically, his remaining with his wife could prove a fatal blow. 

Following Prince Harry’s arrival in the UK, he was intercepted by his brother who told him that the doctors confirmed he has a very rare form of cancer called Markle’s Lymphoma.

He continued: “Yeah, so they were surprised because Dad’s so healthy, but apparently it’s caused by an extreme reaction to the introduction of a ‘toxic precursor’?

“They were asking if he’d been exposed to any chemicals or anything, and I said no, or if he’d suffered any adverse effects to something he’d not previously been in contact with perhaps beginning about six years ago and peaking in 2018, and I realised.

“I said ‘no way could one Hollywood actress, no matter how mixed her race, cause this’ and the doctor said unfortunately yes and it’s medical fact in all the literature. And that’s them saying that not me.

“Apparently even trace elements, such as someone who’s been in contact with her in the last 30 days, could make it recur and that would be it. His immune system, rarified from decades of contact with pure-bred English roses, simply goes into shock.

“So yeah, that’s official. Your choice what happens next. Consequences will be on you. I guess we’ll just have to trust you to do the right thing.”

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Woman wrongly believes office flirtation will survive moving six desks away

A WOMAN who has been engaged in a long-term flirtation with a colleague mistakenly believes it will continue despite her moving 24 feet away. 

Tom Logan and Lucy Parry have whiled long days at their adjacent desks away with saucy banter, teasing remarks and double entendres for almost five years, and Parry sees no reason that will change just because she is on the other side of an open-plan office.

She said: “Our mutual attraction’s hardly going to fade because I’m on the other side of the room, is it? If anything, absence will make the parts grow fonder! I should tell him that one.

“The compliments, the shy glances over cubicle walls: all evidence of real desire, not just my being the only woman under 50 in this department who doesn’t mind the implication I’m a slut if it passes the afternoon.

“Actually this move should add to the excitement. I’ll brush up against him in the kitchen, he’ll invent reasons to join me at the printer, we’’ll send flirty emails and we’ll always be giggling and glancing meaningfully across to each other.

“I hope so, anyway. Otherwise I’m left with nothing but the crushing boredom of being a client services manager in a medium-sized data processing firm.”

Logan said: “Lucy? Yeah that’s over.”