Victoria’s Secret models all nerds at school or some bullshit

THE ridiculously good-looking lingerie models of Victoria’s Secret have confirmed that they were all quiet loners at school.

23-year-old ‘angel’ Susan Traherne said: “If you remember what school was like, literally nobody ever wanted to hang out with the really pretty girls with amazing skin.

“Bookish, plain people were far more popular and always got invited to parties. So it was, as you can imagine, a total nightmare.”

LA-based lingerie model Mary Fisher said: “I was definitely a geek and was into all the things that geeks are into, whatever they may be.

“I am not just saying that to appear normal and ‘relatable’. People in fashion are far too genuine to do that sort of thing.”

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Hand-dyed, loom spun, artisan selvedge denim jeans still look quite like Jeremy Clarkson’s

A HUGELY expensive pair of bespoke jeans still resembles those worn by a Top Gear presenter, it has emerged.

37-year-old architect Tom Booker paid £395 for the trousers from boutique denim specialist uBoN.

He said: “I’ve always considered myself a ‘denim geek’, and by geek I mean ‘fucking cool guy’.

“But looking in the mirror I’ve had the terrible epiphany that marketing bullshit is the main thing separating my coarse blue legwear from that sported from Top Gear’s very own personification of the mid-life crisis, Clarkson.

“I’ve got turn ups and he hasn’t. His are a bit tighter around the groin. That’s about it really.

“All jeans are the same.”