OUR monarch has done as he was told and performed a humiliating little show for president Trump. Which potentate who hates laws should he do it for next?
Jordan Gardner, barista: “Got to be Big Kimmy. The Jongster. Notorious KIJ. The King in the North of the 38th Parallel. The Pyongyang Pussy Panther. You know who I mean, right?”
Helen Archer, painting restorer: “As we’re not sure who’s running Iran he’ll have to take his tawdry show from town to town, his robes getting dusty and threadbare, the gold on his carriage peeling in the heat.”
Nathan Muir, club promoter: “Who’s leading the Sinaloa Cartel currently? Because I kind of owe them and a state visit would go some way to clearing it.”
Mary Fisher, print manager: “It’s a shame Africa’s not keen on us. Soon Charles’s consummate skills at watching tribal dances while looking amused but not wholly condescending will soon be lost.”
James Bates, camera operator: “He does his pathetic little shuffle for the emperor of Latveria in Avengers: Doomsday this December before being vaporised in a pre-credits sequence.”
Lucy Parry, massage therapist: “I mean we joke, but really his entire life is one long dance to please the British press.”
