PRIMATES are unsure why they have yet to take over the planet when humanity is clearly doing such a terrible job.
Apes agreed that they expected their rise to global dominance, first forecast in 1968’s Planet of the Apes, would definitely have taken place by now.
Orangutan Norman Steele of Chester Zoo said: “I mean we’ve only got ourselves to blame.
“I really thought we’d be seeing the first gibbon colony on Mars by 2016, but instead we’re still swinging about in tyres eating fruit like we’ve got all the time in the world.
“Admittedly the whole nuclear holocaust thing not happening set us back at bit – we’d really been relying on that – but come on, it’s been 30-odd years since and we’ve done nothing.
“There’ve been plenty of opportunities to step in and take the reins, from global warming to Brexit, but we’re always too busy checking each other for ticks. We’ve really let ourselves down.”
Zookeeper Martin Bishop said: “They’re disappointed? How do they think we feel?”