A FAT bastard of a pigeon has announced that he will continue to be a prick to other, smaller pigeons.
Large breasted bell-end pigeon Nathan Muir said that he will continue to boss his fellow pigeons about when there is bread on the floor, until someone stops him.
Muir said: “I’m the fattest, so I get to be in charge. Nobody gets any bread or grain until my fat belly is full to bursting point.
“A bit like Idi Amin when he was in charge of Uganda, or Boris Johnson when he takes over the Conservative Party.
“Fattest knobhead gets to run things.”
Ornithologist Mary Fisher said” “I love all winged creatures and I’m a strict vegan.
“But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to kick one of those horrible, aggressive pigeon bastards right in its fat arse whenever I see them bullying the smaller pigeons.”