Budgies demand to be released from weird people’s homes

BUDGERIGARS imprisoned by weirdos around the UK have issued a statement pleading to be set free.

The small birds trapped in slightly creepy living rooms and conservatories called for the public’s support in freeing them from the pensioners and loons holding them captive.

Budgie Roy Hobbs, who lives in a cage full of mirrors, swings and bells in Hull said: “We don’t guard people’s house, we don’t like to be cuddled, our plumage is offensively luminous and we shit relentlessly. On that basis I’d say we are not ideal pets.

“I’m supposed to be flying round the Australian outback, not watching someone’s nan’s TV.”

Norman Steele said: “Call me an eccentric, but I admire the enigmatic aloofness of the domestic budgerigar.

“I bought a pair of budgies for my wife for our tenth wedding anniversary as a way of celebrating our love, and also of letting her know exactly how trapped I felt in our marriage.

“Every day I look at them and think ‘You and me both, fellas, you and me both’.”