Thanks for making us experts on tedious financial shit, UK tells Brexiters

BRITONS have thanked Leave voters for forcing them to learn about piss-boring things like exchange rates and EU law.

Brexit coverage has made millions of people highly knowledgeable about issues that are mind-meltingly tedious.

Graphic designer Nikki Hollis said: “Everything about money and finance bores me rigid but now I’m an expert on interest rates and inflation, so thanks a fucking lot for that, Brexiters.

“You can imagine how much I’ve enjoyed making myself informed about trade tariffs and the effects of a weak currency on global supply chains.

“Frankly I’d like to round-up every Brexiter and make them count to a trillion out loud at gunpoint.”

Teacher Stephen Malley said: “I’d like to thank Leave voters for sending me on the fascinating journey of discovery which is learning about World Trade Organisation export rules.

“If my current career doesn’t work out, it’s nice to know I could probably get a job explaining international trade regulations and become a depressed alcoholic.

“What really turns me on is how government bonds are sold to raise funds for quantitative easing. Just mentioning that makes me want to crack one off right now.”