Sunday, 16th May 2021

Builder understands woman's house in way husband never will

A BUILDER’S intimate understanding of the structural details of a house is making a woman question whether her husband will ever be able to satisfy her again. 

Francesca Johnson enlisted the help of a local builder to create an extended kitchen-diner at the back of her home and is now unable to stop thinking about how incredible he has made her house feel.

Johnson said: “From the moment Ryan came over to give us a quote, I knew I was in safe hands. He saw the house for what it was – something that needed some attention, instead of somewhere to stare at his iPhone after work.

“Ryan knows things my husband has no clue about, like where to knock through to transform my downstairs. He knew the right place to put the sink before I’d even thought about it. It’s like he understood without me saying anything.”

She added: “I’m going to have to have the whole house remodelled, just so I can hear Ryan talk pure filth about the importance of not removing load-bearing walls.”