Cat thinks 'missing cat' poster is some sort of weird pin-up

A CAT has been left confused by a ‘lost cat’ poster because the cat in it is quite hot.

Cat Wayne Hayes noticed posters appearing on lamp posts in his territory, headed ‘Help us find Rainbow – is she in your shed?’ with a picture of an attractive black and white cat underneath.

He said: “Although I cannot read, I know a good-looking cat when I see one.

“I can only assume that it’s some sort of Playboy-type pin-up – after all, the cat is fully naked – or that this hot female cat is touting herself for modelling work.

“Either way, it’s certainly brightened up my day. Hubba hubba.”

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Heartfelt status update quickly scanned for anything of any real importance

A HEARTFELT Facebook status update has been quickly scanned to see if the poster was saying anything important or just after a bit of attention.

Wayne Hayes saw the update by friend Martin Bishop which began, ‘I don’t say this often and it’s something I should do more…’

Hayes said: “My first thought was ‘Uh oh, what’s going on here’ before quickly remembering that people just do that kind of thing nowadays to get some attention from people.

“I quickly scanned the whole paragraph, which probably could have done with being split into two parts to be honest, for anything of genuine importance. Words like ‘pregnant’, ‘new job’, ‘constant sense of impending doom’, things like that.

“But there was just a bunch of stuff about people in his life meaning a lot to him, he’s happy that he’s a human being and then something about listening to Fleetwood Mac more often, which in fairness, was the reason I ‘liked’ it.”

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute of Studies added, “Thanks to social media, the backs of pub toilet doors are now very rarely in need of a new paint job.”