DELEGATES at COP28 have celebrated their decision to move away from fossil fuels by setting fire to an oil well, it has emerged.
Countries at the UN climate summit in Dubai are patting themselves on the back for agreeing to phase out fossil fuels as they enjoy the ceremonial inferno of an oil well going up in flames.
Britain’s minister for climate change Graham Stuart said: “Wow, look at it go. I thought it would be a pathetic, corporate affair, but no. It’s really f**king going for it.
“It’s a wonderful symbol of destroying our dependence on oil. Everyone was accusing us of being massive hypocrites as we flew in from all over to attend a climate conference, but setting fire to an oil well sends a powerful message to the world that we mean business.
“I bet fossil fuel companies will be quaking in their boots. Maybe for an encore we’ll burn a load of coal or light up a fracking well. Imagine how impressive an explosion at a kerosene refinery would look.
“And once we’ve burnt them all away fossil fuels will be a thing of the past, which is what everyone wants. This hydrocarbon-belching blaze will act as a beacon of hope that I’m sure will be remembered for generations to come.”
He added: “I’m sure Greenpeace will try to find some sort of obscure problem with it though. They’re never f**king happy.”