Couple pretending their home is designed around feng shui, not plug sockets

A COUPLE are claiming that their furniture is placed based on Chinese principles of harmonious living, not where the plug sockets are. 

Joseph and Maggie Turner like to pretend to guests that they have carefully arranged their home to create a flowing live-work space, though one with a suspicious lack of extension cables.

Friend Helen Archer said: “They’re all like, ‘The desk goes here by the double doors because of qi,’ and I’m like ‘Hmmm, perhaps another word for it could be electricity.’

“What a stroke of luck that the telly needs to be in that corner according to yin and yang, and it’s where the Sky plug is.

“Face it, like the rest of us you’ve got about three choices of where to put any furniture in the whole house because of plug sockets, radiators and doors.”

Joseph Turner said: “And as Qing Wuzi of the Han Dynasty said, always place the broadband router in the hall for a balanced flow of wi-fi through the house.

“Such wisdom. He must’ve worked on the helpdesk.”