MILLIONS of gallons of face paint washed off in the wake of Brazil’s humiliating defeat have turned the nation’s rivers turquoise.
Naturalists reported purple-ish flamingos and green-furred coypus, as distraught football fans rush to wash basins or simply allow their tears to form rivulets of blue and yellow paint.
Ecologist Roy Hobbs said: “The rainforest risks becoming a lurid, barren hell, all because of over-reaction to a ball game.
“Wildlife uses colour as a signal. For example, the skin tone of a poisonous tree frog that normally warns raptors not to eat it has been changed to a more tempting stripy green.
“Meanwhile the infertile capybara female’s dyed pink rump invites passing males to exhaust themselves having pointless sex with her.”
Emergency legislation means that it is now illegal for Brazilians to remove any remaining face paint, even if they have to attend a high-stakes business meeting.
In a related incident, discarded David Luis and Marcello wigs were reported to have formed a Guernsey-sized floating island at the mouth of the River Plate.