Tuesday, 4th August 2020

Global pandemic just the push man needed to mow the lawn

A GLOBAL pandemic locking down a third of the world’s population has finally motivated a British man to mow the lawn. 

After only three weeks’ forced confinement in his home, Wayne Hayes has not only mown the grass but trimmed the hedges and thrown the clippings over the back fence.

He said: “Say what you like about this coronavirus, but it’s given me the kick up the bum I needed to achieve a few things around the house.

“I’ve jetwashed the decking, weeded the patio, and if we’re getting another four weeks of lockdown then I honestly think I’ll finally clear out the shed.

“I don’t think I have ever felt so motivated for home improvement in my life, and I owe it all to this terrible situation. The garden’s never looked better.”

Neighbour Eleanor Shaw said: “I can’t believe how unfeeling some people are, treating this like one big bank holiday.

“I’m so traumatised there’s no way I can do anything about the disused washing machine in my front garden and it’s insensitive to ask.”