Sunday, 9th May 2021

Aldi limiting customers to one fluorescent ski-suit or two water-resistant cuckoo clocks per person

BUDGET supermarket Aldi is restricting shoppers to one fluorescent all-in-one ski suit per person, and no more than two waterproof cuckoo clocks.

The German chain is enforcing rationing across the board, with shoppers allowed no more than four Chronicles of Riddick frisbees and only one 22lb bag of frozen prawns.

Stephen Malley, manager of the Uttoxeter store, said: “Our supply chain has been badly disrupted by coronavirus. We should have a gross of authentic brass diving bells by now, but we’re still on our winter stock of flaming juggling torches.

“So to ensure everyone gets a chance, we’re restricting the sale of certain items to avoid stockpiling. Rest assured that when you come to Aldi there will be enough foldable beehives, 2010 World Cup vuvuzelas and two-gallon jars of sipping honey for everyone.”

Customer Roy Hobbs said: “This place is mental. I came in for a remote-controlled dove and left with a loaf of bread, a pint of milk and some bin bags.”