THE rest of the UK has urged Londoners suffering record heat to bitch about it even more than they already are.
From Manchester, where temperatures are expected to reach 26 and it’s cloudy, to Glasgow under heavy rain, the country is greatly enjoying Londoners moaning on social media about how boiling it is and hopes they continue.
Sophie Rodriguez of Derry said: “It’s pissing down here, but I’m feeling a warm glow inside because the self-important residents of London are suffering so. How I empathise with them.
“Why, from the moment they awoke this morning they’ve been carping interminably about how hot it is. And then they had to get on the Tube! I cannot imagine a more perfect hell.”
Jordan Gardner of Nottingham agreed: “As it approaches midday, and they go out for their crappy little Pret in a crappy little park next to their big fancy office, I hope the whinging reaches a peak.
“Though of course there’s always this evening, when they go home to their horrid little £650k flats and complain about how they’ve got no outdoor space. I’ll keep some reserves of sympathy ready for then.”
Kilburn resident Tom Logan said: “It’s bloody sweltering here, as I assume it is in the rest of the UK which is merely London’s echo. I’d better tell everyone.”