Friday, 7th May 2021

Kids on nature walk couldn't give a shit about it

A GROUP of children on an enriching nature walk could not have given less of a shit about it, they have confirmed.

Parents Nikki Hollis and Nathan Muir dragged their offspring to a local forest to explore the majesty of nature, only to find them wholly unimpressed by the offerings of the natural world.

Hollis said: “I thought it would be wholesome like The Swiss Family Robinson but actually it was more like The Blair Witch Project, only without the relief of the ending.

“The high moment was when the little one got briefly excited about a bee, but it turned out it was only because it reminded him of Transformers.”

Muir attempted to get philosophical with his older children, telling them that “every tree tells a fascinating story”.

He said: “The oldest one just rolled his eyes, and the middle one said it’s ‘not as good as the story in Red Dead Redemption’ and they all laughed at me.”

Nature walks have now been banned and the children sent to their rooms with their consoles for the foreseeable future, which the whole family confirmed was a huge relief.