KILLER seals are attempting to engage police in pseudo-intellectual cat-and-mouse games.Thinks he is a fish-guzzling evil genius
The seals, thought to be responsible for killing several porpoises, have sent officers a series of ‘cryptic’ messages.
Detective inspector Tom Logan said: I suspected the seals were attempting to contact us when I received a soggy envelope covered in seaweed.
Inside was a message implying the killings were connected to signs of the zodiac, but I dont think theyd thought it through properly because it was too vague to lead to a proper battle of wits.
Then I got one with a nursery rhyme and some extremely easy anagrams, which I immediately worked out as Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch a tail of porpoise.
That was poor too because it doesnt quite make sense and they obviously got the idea from Die Hard with a Vengeance.
Logan added that he would not be following instructions to deliver a crate of fish to a location in the North Sea because it was obviously an attempt to toy with him and seals cannot be charged with crimes anyway.
Grey seal Roy Hobbs said: The police can work out the date of my next murder by cross-referencing verse numbers from the Bible with Catcher in the Rye, but only if theyve got exactly the right editions.”