A TEENAGE girl has told her parents off for poisoning the environment with their car, while awaiting the delivery of a truckload of sweatshop clothes.
Lauren Hewitt, 15, has condemned her parents for owning a planet-killing Citroën Berlingo, which she often asks them for lifts in to buy microplastic-shedding nylon tops from Primark.
Mum Helen Hewitt said: “Lauren says that if we don’t buy an electric car by the end of the month she’s never going to speak to us again.
“We’ve said we don’t have anywhere to charge one, but she won’t hear it. Surprisingly, though, she doesn’t have a bad word to say about the Amazon driver who turns up in a diesel van to deliver her false eyelashes.
“We suggested that we could stop driving her to school to reduce her carbon footprint but she didn’t seem to like that idea. We also mentioned that a £10 leather jacket that squeaks and smells of fish might not come from an ethical source and she threw a fit. But I’m sure she’ll start speaking to us again when she wants some money.”
Lauren’s latest purchases include a ‘Go Green’ slogan hoodie made in an illegal factory 5,000 miles away and a tie-dye t-shirt which cost £3 and pisses out chemicals into the water supply.