VEGETABLE gardeners are pleading with Britain to please, for the love of sweet Jesus Christ on a bike, take some of these courgettes.
Jane Thomson, said: “You have to take them. Oh god, please. I’ll send your kids to private school. Just f*cking take them.
“If you don’t I’ll have to turn my kitchen into a factory-sized production line for whatever the f*ck you’re supposed to make out of courgettes. Courgette jam? I don’t even like courgettes.
“What the f*ck am I doing with my life?
“It’s ironic really because I bet in France, or somewhere, they’ve got too many peaches. And they might like our courgettes. We could swap them.
“If only there was an organised way of trading things easily with other countries in Europe. If anyone thinks of one, can they let me know?”